I'm feeling a distinct lack of creative energy today. Or any energy at all, for that matter.
I have finally succumbed to the lurgy that is going around, right at the moment when I really don't have time to be ill. So much for making it through till the end of term without getting sick.
Consequently I don't have a lot to say, other than arrgghh! With deadlines looming, I'm getting increasingly stressed and frustrated. Particularly with the whole website thing. I'm enjoying learning Dreamweaver, but after three sessions, I'm just not there yet. So it's back to the drawing board, or rather, free websites for this one. Not what I wanted, but I guess my 'vision' will just have to wait.
C'est la vie.
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Monday, 1 December 2008
Tests, allies, enemies
I can't believe how quickly these past few weeks have gone. As the end of term draws near, I've started reflecting on everything I've seen, learnt and written, as well as the friendships I've developed along the way.
Sometimes, I feel as though I'd incredibly lucky to be here, doing exactly what I want to be doing right now. Looking back on the past few weeks, I'm starting to see the changes, in my work, mentally and emotionally.
I suppose it's a combination of factors. I've been pushed outside my comfort zone; it's scary and exciting at the same time. I feel as though I've discovered new emotional depths to draw on when I write. I'm no longer worried what people think, or what my work may reveal about me.
It stands to reason that the more you write, the more you will improve. Having the time just to write has been fantastic. I've started preparing my portfolios for the end of term, and I'm amazed at how much work we've actually done.
Having the support of everyone else on the course, as well as from the lecturers has also been really helpful. Once January comes around and we start our specialist courses we're not really going to be together as a whole group again. It's a shame - this is the best group I've found.
In terms of the journey, I feel as though I've reached Stage 6 - Tests, Allies & Enemies. Now firmly in the special world, I'm totally committed to my quest. I've found my friends. Enemies reveal themselves in terms of negative comments, distractions and doubt, but pen in hand, I'm ready to take them on.
Sometimes, I feel as though I'd incredibly lucky to be here, doing exactly what I want to be doing right now. Looking back on the past few weeks, I'm starting to see the changes, in my work, mentally and emotionally.
I suppose it's a combination of factors. I've been pushed outside my comfort zone; it's scary and exciting at the same time. I feel as though I've discovered new emotional depths to draw on when I write. I'm no longer worried what people think, or what my work may reveal about me.
It stands to reason that the more you write, the more you will improve. Having the time just to write has been fantastic. I've started preparing my portfolios for the end of term, and I'm amazed at how much work we've actually done.
Having the support of everyone else on the course, as well as from the lecturers has also been really helpful. Once January comes around and we start our specialist courses we're not really going to be together as a whole group again. It's a shame - this is the best group I've found.
In terms of the journey, I feel as though I've reached Stage 6 - Tests, Allies & Enemies. Now firmly in the special world, I'm totally committed to my quest. I've found my friends. Enemies reveal themselves in terms of negative comments, distractions and doubt, but pen in hand, I'm ready to take them on.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
The toil and the passion
Christmas is creeping up on us far too quickly. I haven't even thought about Christmas shopping yet as I've been far too busy trying to get through all the work I need to do before the end of term.
Of course, it didn't help that yesterday was spectacularly unproductive. I have no idea where most of the day went, and it didn't help that I had to go a buy two new tyres after running over a nail and then finding out my spare was cracked.
I'm now really glad that I turned down paid work over Christmas. The money would have be useful, but as we found out this week we have to produce an outline and the first thirty pages of our novel for January, it looks like it's going to be a busy 'holiday.' My dilemma now is which idea to go for? I have an existing novel I've been working on, plus a couple of new ideas which I'd love to take further.
A conversation with one of my flatmates helped to put it all into perspective. Living in a house with nine other people who are all in and out all the time means you don't necessarily see some of them all that often. So when you do run into each other it's good to catch up. He was asking me about the course (one thing I have discovered since I started the MA is that writers love to talk about their work, and I am no exception), and after I had talked for some time, he commented that I seemed really passionate about the course, and my work.
Afterwards, I felt better. Passion for writing is why I'm here - I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing right now. The truth is that sometimes we all need reminding why we're doing what we're doing. You can get bogged down in the details when what you really need to do is take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Of course, it didn't help that yesterday was spectacularly unproductive. I have no idea where most of the day went, and it didn't help that I had to go a buy two new tyres after running over a nail and then finding out my spare was cracked.
I'm now really glad that I turned down paid work over Christmas. The money would have be useful, but as we found out this week we have to produce an outline and the first thirty pages of our novel for January, it looks like it's going to be a busy 'holiday.' My dilemma now is which idea to go for? I have an existing novel I've been working on, plus a couple of new ideas which I'd love to take further.
A conversation with one of my flatmates helped to put it all into perspective. Living in a house with nine other people who are all in and out all the time means you don't necessarily see some of them all that often. So when you do run into each other it's good to catch up. He was asking me about the course (one thing I have discovered since I started the MA is that writers love to talk about their work, and I am no exception), and after I had talked for some time, he commented that I seemed really passionate about the course, and my work.
Afterwards, I felt better. Passion for writing is why I'm here - I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing right now. The truth is that sometimes we all need reminding why we're doing what we're doing. You can get bogged down in the details when what you really need to do is take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Monday, 10 November 2008
Return of the blog
It's been a while since my last blog. There's been a lot happening this week, both in terms of actual events and stuff that's going on in my head.
The return of my teenage insomnia gives me way too much time to think, and that's never a good thing. The most frustrating thing is that I can't actually do anything productive with that time, but I can't turn my mind off. That's when doubt starts to creep in and I start stressing over all the the things on my list that still remain undone.
On Wednesday I went to see the fireworks with some of my housemates. I was slightly disappointed that there was no actual bonfire (Bonfire Night without the bonfire - something missing, perhaps?). The fireworks were really good though, although the choice of music was a little odd. Most of the songs they were playing were really popular in 1998 or thereabouts. As I reminisced about what I'd been doing back then in those halcyon days as an undergraduate, I noticed the slightly blank looks from some of my housemates. Then I realised they must have all only been about ten then.
I've spent most of the weekend at the film festival, volunteering and trying to catch some of the events while the opportunity was there. After working on numerous arts festivals previously, it was quite strange to see things from a volunteer's perspective. Generally it was pretty easy going; most of the other volunteers were good fun and I didn't really have to do anything more taxing than check tickets and make tea. Plus I got a cool t-shirt.
Probably my favourite event of the weekend was John Yorke's lecture about story structure, which was also attended by at least half of the people on my course. He was a dynamic speaker, and I could have quite happily listened to him talk for much longer.
I also went to see a silent film from the 1920s called Sunrise, which was accompanied live by Cornish band Wurlitzer. I'd never actually seen a silent film before, so I was intrigued to find out what it would be like. I found myself fascinated by the images on the screen combined with modern music. It was a slightly strange combination which really seemed to fit the mood and tone of the film.
Whatever else is on the list is just going to have to wait. I'm done for tonight.
The return of my teenage insomnia gives me way too much time to think, and that's never a good thing. The most frustrating thing is that I can't actually do anything productive with that time, but I can't turn my mind off. That's when doubt starts to creep in and I start stressing over all the the things on my list that still remain undone.
On Wednesday I went to see the fireworks with some of my housemates. I was slightly disappointed that there was no actual bonfire (Bonfire Night without the bonfire - something missing, perhaps?). The fireworks were really good though, although the choice of music was a little odd. Most of the songs they were playing were really popular in 1998 or thereabouts. As I reminisced about what I'd been doing back then in those halcyon days as an undergraduate, I noticed the slightly blank looks from some of my housemates. Then I realised they must have all only been about ten then.
I've spent most of the weekend at the film festival, volunteering and trying to catch some of the events while the opportunity was there. After working on numerous arts festivals previously, it was quite strange to see things from a volunteer's perspective. Generally it was pretty easy going; most of the other volunteers were good fun and I didn't really have to do anything more taxing than check tickets and make tea. Plus I got a cool t-shirt.
Probably my favourite event of the weekend was John Yorke's lecture about story structure, which was also attended by at least half of the people on my course. He was a dynamic speaker, and I could have quite happily listened to him talk for much longer.
I also went to see a silent film from the 1920s called Sunrise, which was accompanied live by Cornish band Wurlitzer. I'd never actually seen a silent film before, so I was intrigued to find out what it would be like. I found myself fascinated by the images on the screen combined with modern music. It was a slightly strange combination which really seemed to fit the mood and tone of the film.
Whatever else is on the list is just going to have to wait. I'm done for tonight.
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Remember, remember....
It's been cold today, much colder that it has been lately. Proper bonfire night weather. It reminds me of going to fireworks displays as a child, getting all wrapped up to huddle around a huge bonfire, eating sausages as the anticipation builds while you wait for the next set of fireworks begin.
It's pure magic. With sparklers.
I've been to a few fireworks displays as an adult, and have always been faintly disappointed. It wasn't as cold (I've found myself leaving half my layers in the car), the fireworks weren't as spectacular and sometimes there weren't even any sausages!
The weather is making me feel rather nostalgic. I may have to hunt down some sparklers and track down a fireworks display to see if the magic has returned.
It's pure magic. With sparklers.
I've been to a few fireworks displays as an adult, and have always been faintly disappointed. It wasn't as cold (I've found myself leaving half my layers in the car), the fireworks weren't as spectacular and sometimes there weren't even any sausages!
The weather is making me feel rather nostalgic. I may have to hunt down some sparklers and track down a fireworks display to see if the magic has returned.
Monday, 27 October 2008
Welcome to the dark side
Recently I have noticed a change in my writing. I'm drawn to the dark side.
It's ironic, really, as I've always been a sucker for a happy ending. But the twist, now there's the rub. The way a story hooks you in, and then dashes your expectations when you least expect it. I'm beginning to see how to use this, to play with the emotions of my readers. It's not a nice, safe world out there. There are monsters under the bed (although they may actually be more afraid of you than you are of them) and things that go bump in the night. The latter is usually just me tripping over the crap strewn around my room in the dark.
I've also been reading a lot of Angela Carter and Neil Gaiman. I love the way they take myths and fairytales and subvert them. We've been looking at narrative and genre recently in our Writers' Toolkit sessions doing a similar sort of thing. The idea is that you take the kernel events from a well-known story and then use them as a jumping off point for your own work. It was amazing how few markers we actually needed to identify stories that everyone is aware of, such as Little Red Riding Hood. We are all so familiar with the story that it takes very few references to realise we are reading a version of this tale. It's a great way to start thinking about stories.
Carrying on with the theme of cannibalism from one of our Writing Structure seminar, this week I've created a dark tale based on the Hansel & Gretel story. By using well-known tales as a starting point, the challenge is to weave the references from the original into the new version. I was amazed by the number of very different, inventive and engaging versions of the Icarus myth members of the group came up with. Makes you think....
That's what it's really all about. Anything that makes you think, makes you look at things in a different way. The possibilities are endless.
It's ironic, really, as I've always been a sucker for a happy ending. But the twist, now there's the rub. The way a story hooks you in, and then dashes your expectations when you least expect it. I'm beginning to see how to use this, to play with the emotions of my readers. It's not a nice, safe world out there. There are monsters under the bed (although they may actually be more afraid of you than you are of them) and things that go bump in the night. The latter is usually just me tripping over the crap strewn around my room in the dark.
I've also been reading a lot of Angela Carter and Neil Gaiman. I love the way they take myths and fairytales and subvert them. We've been looking at narrative and genre recently in our Writers' Toolkit sessions doing a similar sort of thing. The idea is that you take the kernel events from a well-known story and then use them as a jumping off point for your own work. It was amazing how few markers we actually needed to identify stories that everyone is aware of, such as Little Red Riding Hood. We are all so familiar with the story that it takes very few references to realise we are reading a version of this tale. It's a great way to start thinking about stories.
Carrying on with the theme of cannibalism from one of our Writing Structure seminar, this week I've created a dark tale based on the Hansel & Gretel story. By using well-known tales as a starting point, the challenge is to weave the references from the original into the new version. I was amazed by the number of very different, inventive and engaging versions of the Icarus myth members of the group came up with. Makes you think....
That's what it's really all about. Anything that makes you think, makes you look at things in a different way. The possibilities are endless.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
A Visit from the Time Thief
This morning, as my alarm went off at some hideously early time on a Saturday I dragged my slightly hungover self out of the comfort of my bed and headed into Falmouth. It was a still, calm autumn morning, and dawn lit up Penryn harbour; everything was bathed in a soft amber light. I decided the walk would do me good, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take a few photographs while I had the world to myself.
The Cornwall Film Festival kicks off in Falmouth 6-9 November, and I had decided to volunteer , partly because it is a good way to get a free ticket and pick up some useful insider information, and also because volunteering at festivals can be a lot of fun. This morning's meeting was a bit of an induction, a chance to meet the team, check out the venues and mingle with other potential volunteers (as well as we could at 9am without the benefit of serious amounts of caffeine).
Despite my good intentions to return home after the meeting and get on with something a) useful, b) meaningful or c) work that I actually needed complete, I still managed to spend rather a lot of time wandering around Falmouth where I bumped into a couple of friends and bought more stuff in Tescos that I don't really need. The rest of the afternoon disappeared in a blur.
I think someone out there is stealing time. It's the only rational explanation as to why this keeps happening. Several other people I know have reported the same phenomenon. Surely this can't be a coincidence?
Suddenly it was 6.30pm and as I was whipping up another culinary masterpiece, I became rooted to the spot. what strange enchantment was this? Luckily I managed to free myself by the time Strictly Come Dancing had finished, but I was so overcome by this effort that I had to recuperate by spending some time phone talking to one of my best friends.
It's now after 10pm, and I'm just settling down to get started. I think it's going to be a late one....
The Cornwall Film Festival kicks off in Falmouth 6-9 November, and I had decided to volunteer , partly because it is a good way to get a free ticket and pick up some useful insider information, and also because volunteering at festivals can be a lot of fun. This morning's meeting was a bit of an induction, a chance to meet the team, check out the venues and mingle with other potential volunteers (as well as we could at 9am without the benefit of serious amounts of caffeine).
Despite my good intentions to return home after the meeting and get on with something a) useful, b) meaningful or c) work that I actually needed complete, I still managed to spend rather a lot of time wandering around Falmouth where I bumped into a couple of friends and bought more stuff in Tescos that I don't really need. The rest of the afternoon disappeared in a blur.
I think someone out there is stealing time. It's the only rational explanation as to why this keeps happening. Several other people I know have reported the same phenomenon. Surely this can't be a coincidence?
Suddenly it was 6.30pm and as I was whipping up another culinary masterpiece, I became rooted to the spot. what strange enchantment was this? Luckily I managed to free myself by the time Strictly Come Dancing had finished, but I was so overcome by this effort that I had to recuperate by spending some time phone talking to one of my best friends.
It's now after 10pm, and I'm just settling down to get started. I think it's going to be a late one....
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Fiona is currently unavailable...
Earlier this evening I attempted to add today's musings to my blog, I got the message Blogger is currently unavailable. Strong language followed as I refreshed my browser window, only to be greeted by the same frustrating message.
I want to write my blog, and I want to do it now!
We live in a society where instant gratification is the norm. We have become a society of petulant toddlers; if our desires aren't fulfilled at once then all hell breaks loose. As fond as I am of the internet and the convenience of my mobile phone, I can't help thinking that being in contact with the world 24/7 is not necessarily a good thing. Our lives become a blur as we rush from one thing to another, rarely taking the time to savour the moment, the 'now' of our existence.
Stop the world, I want to get off....
Spending a year doing an MA is an opportunity to concentrate on the things that really matter to me. I think I finally got to the stage where I realised that I couldn't just keep squeezing my dreams into the ever-shrinking amount of time I had to call my own, the time that wasn't taken up by work, family, friends, updating my Facebook account and all the other tedious minutiae of daily life. A few months ago, I faced a choice. 'Now or never' sounds a little dramatic, but I'd reached a point where it was put up or shut up. After the first day of the course, I knew I'd made the right decision.
I want to write my blog, and I want to do it now!
We live in a society where instant gratification is the norm. We have become a society of petulant toddlers; if our desires aren't fulfilled at once then all hell breaks loose. As fond as I am of the internet and the convenience of my mobile phone, I can't help thinking that being in contact with the world 24/7 is not necessarily a good thing. Our lives become a blur as we rush from one thing to another, rarely taking the time to savour the moment, the 'now' of our existence.
Stop the world, I want to get off....
Spending a year doing an MA is an opportunity to concentrate on the things that really matter to me. I think I finally got to the stage where I realised that I couldn't just keep squeezing my dreams into the ever-shrinking amount of time I had to call my own, the time that wasn't taken up by work, family, friends, updating my Facebook account and all the other tedious minutiae of daily life. A few months ago, I faced a choice. 'Now or never' sounds a little dramatic, but I'd reached a point where it was put up or shut up. After the first day of the course, I knew I'd made the right decision.
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